Jamieson, Fausset and Brown on Song of Solomon 3:4

4. Jesus Christ is generally "found" near the watchmen and means of grace; but they are not Himself; the star that points to Beth-lehem is not the Sun that has risen there; she hastens past the guideposts to the goal [Moody Stuart]. Not even angels could satisfy Mary, instead of Jesus Christ (Joh 20:11-16).

found him--(Is 45:19; Ho 6:1-3; Mt 13:44-46).

held him, &c.--willing to be held; not willing, if not held (Ge 32:26; Mt 28:9; Lu 24:28, 29; Re 3:11). "As a little weeping child will hold its mother fast, not because it is stronger than she, but because her bowels constrain her not to leave it; so Jesus Christ yearning over the believer cannot go, because He will not" [Durham]. In So 1:4 it is He who leads the bride into His chambers; here it is she who leads Him into her mother's. There are times when the grace of Jesus Christ seems to draw us to Him; and others, when we with strong cries draw Him to us and ours. In the East one large apartment often serves for the whole family; so the bride here speaks of her mother's apartment and her own together. The mention of the "mother" excludes impropriety, and imparts the idea of heavenly love, pure as a sister's, while ardent as a bride's; hence the frequent title, "my sister--spouse." Our mother after the Spirit, is the Church, the new Jerusalem (Joh 3:5-8; Ga 4:19, 26); for her we ought to pray continually (Ep 3:14-19), also for the national Jerusalem (Is 62:6, 7; Ro 10:1), also for the human family, which is our mother and kindred after the flesh; these our mother's children have evilly treated us (So 1:6); but, like our Father, we are to return good for evil (Mt 5:44, 45), and so bring Jesus Christ home to them (1Pe 2:12).